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Diana's Writing

~ These are the writings of Diana Lubarsky

Diana's Writing

Tag Archives: family

My Father’s Store

17 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by DK Lubarsky in Poems

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anger, children, family, father, growing up, memoir, poem

Brooklyn 1957

Wind and snow dance on concrete streets,
Slicing through city canyons of pre-war brick,
Tattooed with casement windows and iron laced fire escapes
This day, like all the others, shortened by winter’s darkness

My father’s hardware store smells like the kerosene
He keeps in the back room
I cut kitchen shades to measure with confidence born of youth,
And likewise keys proportioned to locks

I am too young to carry 12 foot rolls of linoleum
The way father does, on his back, up six flights of stairs
But I help out each Saturday in the weeks before Christmas,
Selling white china cups and bright red Christmas tree stands

The smell of kerosene, and the taste of piping hot bagels
Still brings me back to those days
Munching hot bagels on the ride home,
In the days before the anger.

DKL 9/30/14

Walk Away

17 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by DK Lubarsky in Poems

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Tags

anger, family, love, poem, walking

The door slams
A familiar thud
I walk away to clear my head
Flee from wounding words,
Pursuing solitude

Existence measured by foot falls and heart beats
“Remember to breathe,” I tell myself
In, out, in again.
Rhythm, to blot out pain
Long strides, to cleanse life’s abrasions.

A mile. Sometimes more
My body begins to sync with earth’s pulse
Connecting to a universal energy I cannot name
“Be calm,” It whispers.
As light slowly filters through my soul.

I feel the shift.
Rediscovering my center
Who and what I am
Acknowledging the inventory of broken promises and expectations,
Theirs and mine

With each step my heart softens.
I balance life’s checkbook.
Weighing the price of love, and the price of darkness
But the wind has already shifted. Spun me around.
Pressing at my back as I turn and walk toward home.

New Year’s Eve Traditions

30 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by DK Lubarsky in Ramblings

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Tags

family, holiday celebrations, memoir, New Year's Eve

I don’t remember New Year’s Eve growing up. Did we celebrate? I haven’t a clue.
Looking back to my young adult life there are shadows of memories, parties, mistletoe, uncomfortable whispers about being single. Trying to act like I was having fun.
And then time skips like a record jumping the track, and the music playing is in very early married life. BC. Before children. Parties, music, laughter, people loud and boisterous, high on booze. Elliot and I sitting in a corner snacking on liver pate and crackers, wondering what the hell we were doing there.
Another time-space jump finds us in our own home with three kids. New Year’s Eve suddenly became important. Yes, they could stay up. Yes, they could taste the champagne, but only a sip! Those were the fun years, the five of us huddled around the table, big platters of deli meat: turkey, roast beef, salami, tongue, pickles, sauerkraut, mustard, rye bread, potato salad, coleslaw, chips, soda. Thick sandwiches, gooey cake for dessert. The television stayed on, watching the ball drop in Times Square. The countdown, the hugs and kisses, then off to bed with full tummies.
True, the years were sprinkled with occasional parties that so many years later still found Elliot and me huddled over a bowl of chips wondering what the hell we were doing there. Followed by a quick retreat home the following year.
Decades have passed. All too quickly the kids are gone. Parties still attempted occasionally, but more often refused.
Lavish food no longer tolerated late at night. All that remains is watching the ball drop in Times Square, then a sip of champagne, a spoonful of gooey dessert, and off to bed.

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